Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
