I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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