so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
