The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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