well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
