Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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