so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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