Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
