No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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