Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
