I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
