I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
