How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
