yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
