Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
my liver is dry heaving
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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