You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
