this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
