Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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