Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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