Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
