so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
ok first of all what the fuck
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
