apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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