im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
