Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
