he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
