"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
