I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize