I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
