yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
