just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
