And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
