i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
