Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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