matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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