I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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