The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
