Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize