the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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