i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am midnight drunk by noon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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