Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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