sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
