ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
