Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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