i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
