I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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