she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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