i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i dont even know how to be here
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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