she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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