Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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