Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i dont even know how to be here
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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