he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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