You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am one with the molecules
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
