it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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