Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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