rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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