So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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