Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
