idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
