Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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